This past weekend, I was in a wedding for my good friends, Jim and Nyree. As one of Nyree's bridesmaids (bridesmatron?) I had to get the dress, the shoes, the hair style, and of course the stuff that goes with that - make-up, undergarments, etc. Including a shower gift, wedding gift, transportation, etc., the price of being a bridesmaid is quite high. And during the last year, I was somewhat worried about it, and I'm sure I complained to my husband more than I needed to. He was a groomsman as well, but aside from the tux, he didn't have much else to worry about. Men usually don't.
Prior to the wedding, we (the wedding party, friends, etc.) were commenting on how weddings were just too expensive these days and how it was just too much monetarily for the bride and groom to support on their own. DJs, photographers, catering... It's a lot for two people to handle. And even if they have help from their parents, as I did, it can start a marriage off in the wrong direction: the road to debtville. And what of the bride and groom? Are they throwing a reception for themselves or for their family? Personally, I did the whole big wedding thing to please my grandparents, who would have probably disowned me if I eloped. My mother would have loved it though... And doing something so massive just to please others seems somewhat of a waste if you yourself can't enjoy the fruits of it.
However, on Saturday, I realized something that hadn't occurred to me before - nor would have if I hadn't been a part of the wedding party. Wedding receptions and the ceremony are much more than just a large party. It's a right of passage, but also a commitment of camaraderie with your friends and family. I had many bonding experiences with people throughout the day, and became closer friends with a few people (from my perspective).
I have to wonder if the entire experience is a chance for the bride to test her friends... 'If you can make it through this, I know you'll be with me when things get rough.' And perhaps, 'If I'm making a mistake, you owe it to me to tell me!' Thankfully, this was not the case here. Jim and Nyree belong together, and that's clearly evident from their love and attitudes toward each other.
And yes, perhaps they did just throw this big wedding for their family and friends. For the people that enjoyed the food, cake, DJ, etc., it's an extravagant party and an excuse to dress up. Also, as a guest, there's a good chance you will know others there. Family or friends whom you haven't seen in a long time, and now have the chance to catch-up with. Weddings are one of the more important gatherings in life, and are savored for years afterward.
I didn't truly appreciate this until Saturday, and specifically, at about 4:05pm, when standing up at the front of the room. I saw one of my friends walk up the isle, father ready to give her away, beaming and looking the most radiant I'd ever seen her. Looking over at her fiancé, I saw the same look in his eyes as when he proposed to her. At that moment, I felt that (for me anyway), all the preparation and duty-bound tasks were worth it. I hope it was for her too.
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